Safe to say....

Well, I think that it's safe to say that I didn't get the Fish and Wildlife job. I think I would have known by now. That's a little disheartening. I would however like to speak about "getting boxed in." I feel like many people, including myself, feel boxed in a career. You feel as though you've invested a fairly decent amount of time, energy on learning the tasks required of you, and time off! To make a very long story short, it's REALLY hard to make career changes. I'm not throwing myself a pitty party. I'm just stating the facts. It's hard to leave anything in life that you have any investment in. It makes me wonder if God pre-wired us this way to force us to THINK before we act. Think about what it would be like if making a change in any aspect of life wasn't difficult... If making changes were so easy, then we probably wouldn't learn anything at all. I'm OK with that. You need the hesitation in order for time to reflect, weigh odds and LEARN. I AM learning how to pinch pennies though! I am taking TIME to think and ask questions before I make purchasing decisions. Even if the job thing isn't happening the way I'd like it to, I'm learning SOMETHING in this life!

Guess what I just did......

I WISH WISH WISH I could just say that I accepted a new job but that isn't the case.... However, I did just pay OFF my Maurices credit card! I flubbed a little and purchased a shirt and jeans so I still have to pay that off next month, however that's roughly $30 and if they don't fit, I'm just going to return them anyways! I consider that I accomplished my first goal of the year though! Getting out of credit card debt! I feel that that is very exciting. I'm proud of myself! Although I have a gut feeling that I didn't get the Fish and Wildlife job, at least I'm trying my hardest to move forward! I'm also going to purchase ONLY one swim suit for the year and only at Target so I am forced NOT to spend a lot of money! I will win this battle against expensive temptations and keep my bank account growing!

Moving forward...a little

Today I am taking small steps in moving forward. I have an interview with Fish and Wildlife. It's just a secretary job but my pay wouldn't change! I'm pretty excited as one of my New Year's resoutions was to get a job that I LOVE! I am also down to $51 left to pay off on my Maurices credit card!!!!!!!!! I did have a little flub last night... I decided that I needed a new bathing suit this year to motivate me to work out more. So I put around $90 on my Vicky's card and purchased two suits to try on..... I know it wasn't very intelligent. My small problem is that I many of my current suits no longer fit or should I say.. aren't my style anymore. I'm not sure why I feel so compelled to purchase things!!!! I can't seem to shake my need for fabulous things! Ugh. One day at a time I suppose.

Sunday night suck

I hate Sunday's. Do you remember how it feels during school and you just lived for Friday's and Sunday's were the absolute worst. I hate Sunday's. I hate the sinking feeling of dread in my gut that I need to wake up at 6AM tomorrow. But hey world, guess what.... I have an interview with US Fish and Wildlife on Thursday as a secretary!!!! I'm pushing forward and I'm going to find a job that doesn't make me feel like this! I'm also down to $100 left to pay off on my Maurices card. I went their today and returned $48 worth of clothing and paid cash for less a pair of pants 9.99 and a shirt 4.99!!!! WIN!!!!! I can be good about shopping you know! I'm going to get through my new years plans like a bull ina china shop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finding the dream

I have always firmly believed that you need to LOVE what you do in order to thrive, not survive but THRIVE in this life. I'm very good at preaching this point to anyone who will listen however I seem completely incapable of taking my own advice. So I'm going to start by blogging about my journey and maybe putting it in writing will help me. I've never really LOVED what I've done at least what I've gotten paid to do. So my first step is to talk about the things that make me truly happy. Due to my lack of patience I'm going to just write them down in list order.

1) I love spending time with animals. They are free of judgment (not always for cats though). Piss a cat off and they'll ignore you for days.
2) I love helping people move forward in life. That makes me feel very satisfied.
3) I like helping people in general but in a way that is satisfying to them. I think I have an abnormal ability to empathize with people but I can also be quick to judge. That's probably the downfall to empathy. Sometimes it starts as empathy but then turns to judgment. I'm working on that.
4) I am not creative with art or things like that, but I feel that I'm a creative problem solver. Especially with helping friends out with their problems in life.
5) I enjoy being home cleaning and ironing. I hate cooking. I'm scared of wasting food and I have no natural talent for it.
6) I love shopping for clothing. I could buy a new piece of clothing every day.

I'll leave it with that as of now. I'm going to think about these things a lot of do some networking. I think that networking is good and it keeps you in touch with people and the outside world. With that said, this is my starting point and I plan on moving forward from here. Probably not in a blaze of glory but I must press on!

I didn't die....

I haven't blogged in a century!!!! Therefore, I did not die!

I have a found a great reason to enjoy coming to work and now I've found out that it's only temporary... :( 1) Jerico. He's 8 years old and SUPER cute and yellow with soft ears! He's the ICE labrador and BOY does he love to be pet and loved! He's super adorable! When I get to pet him, I can't wipe the smile off of my face! 2) Boomer. He is a guide dog in the building and he's SOOOOO cute!!! No, I have not asked to touch or pet him since he's a "working" dog. One day I will ask though... The worst I can get is No but I'll still have a smile on my face from seeing such a cute puppy!

That's all for today! Merry Christmas!

One Day at a Time

I'm back from my wedding/honeymoon/not-long-enough vacation from work. I'm finding that I want to move a mountain every day. We have an unfinished basement that will soon house a big bathroom, bedroom, walk-in closet and projector. We have quit a bit of work to do and I just want to snap my fingers and have it done right away! As with all things in life, that just isn't possible. So, with a heavy heart, today we will pick out our bathroom vanity so that we can start planning for the next steps of the basement. One thing at a time and one day at a time. I know that the house needs to evolve but I wish that the "evolution" process would move a little faster.....

I loved travelling but it's just nice to be home again. I enjoy being married and I enjoy being a wife. Now it's time to move forward and learn to love remodelling!

Insanity

I just feel like chaos is happening, all around me. Work is crazy (with emotions from those that were dealt a big blow yesterday) and now personal life is crazy with Andy moving out of his house this week. I also had two fillings put into my mouth yesterday and I'm REALLY sore. I'm starting to feel like I just want to run away. So, last night I worked a little more on the rug. I'm about two third's done now!!! You can actually tell what it is.

Monday Monday

It's DEFINITELY a Monday. I all ready have a laundry list of things I need to do after work. T-5 days until my first wedding shower. I'm excited and nervous all at once. There's so much going on that my head feels like it's going to spin and fly off. Hopefully it'll land in the front row of a theatre in London.... :):) I'm also actively trying to wear green as it's Saint Patty's day on Wednesday. I don't really celebrate but it definitely gives me an excuse to wear items in my wardrobe that sometimes become forgotten.

Yesterday was SO beautiful and I hope my wedding day is as nice as that!

Today's Creative Efforts

Today, I walked into the bathroom and stared at my THREE curling irons. All of which are different sizes. I grabbed a newer one and plugged it in. I wanted to see what would happen so I just started curling until I got bored and VOILA! There are the curls! I have yet to figure out a way to hide my gigantic forehead but I can tackle that mystery tomorrow!

LND

Yesterday evening, Love Never Dies officially opened at the West End. I'm quit happy to report that the opening performance seemed to go very well. It seems like ALW has created quit an interesting weave of emotions for the three main characters. I can hardly wait to receive my copy of the albumn in the mail. Amazon has kindly informed me that it is on it's way. I can now only hope that Ramin and Sierra will be performing the night that we see the show. Ah to be on the heals of seeing two beautiful musicals in the West End.

Not to forget the following nights performance of The Phantom of the Opera. :) It's almost impossible to keep the wedding and the honeymoon straight. Priorities.. Priorities.

Caught Up

I'm planning a dream honeymoon. One that I could never have imagined that I'd be going on. When I was a little girl, I made a precious scrap book that, to this day, I have not shared with anyone. It's a cute intermingling of my heart and some goofy teenage interests. I shared my feelings about songs, my favorite musical, and my wishes for my future. I remember feeling that nothing would stop me from my dreams and that I would achieve them no matter the cost. I even made my own sequel to my favorite musical. So, now I get to live the dream and really find out what happens to these two characters with the utmost interesting and beautiful souls. Of course, no trip to London would be complete without seeing the musical that has been the one thing I've been interested in and have enjoyed for the majority of my life. No trip to Paris would also be complete without seeing the Opera house either. I reflect at this trip and realize that I truly am a lucky lucky woman.
The dream trip has swept me so far in that I've almost forgotten about the events prior. Possibly because this dream is a lot easier to plan and it's plans only involve 2 people as opposed to many more. So, as with everything, I'm going to take life one day at a time and enjoy the little things. Yesterday I bought the most perfect pair of shoes. They are TSA friendly, extremely comfortable for walking in and could be either dressy or be worn with jeans. Keep focusing on the small things.

Just another day?

Sometimes weddings and change bring out the best in people and sometimes they bring out the worst. Some days are easier to cope with and some are not. Sometimes I lay awake in my bed before it's time to get up and I feel like my heart is racing a thousand miles a minute. Am I having a heart attack? I need that warm comfortable place to visit every once in a while. A place that can only be found through a farmiliar song, a joke, a picture, or a cup of tea. My mind is flooded. What color paint should I use, which picture should go where, how many musicals will I see and how will I get into the Paris Opera house? So many things need attention and yet, which one requires it immediately? The wedding and the honeymoon will win that battle.

As with many things, I anticipate that I will learn more about myself and maybe even "find" myself in the approaching months ahead. It will be a good to know those things.

Andy's Bathroom

I finally got my dirty hands on Andy's downstairs bathroom! The walls and ceiling were the same disgusting dark grey. So I picked a paint color and took a trip to target to grab a shower curtain. Voila!!! The new bathroom.

I like how the grey I picked still has color but not too much color! :) We also painted the light panels white.

This project was monumental and took forever and yet it was just the beginning...

Lake Harriet

I took Abby out to Lake Harriet yesterday after work. I'm not always a winter fan but she needed exercise! So I threw on my warm boots, under armour, and snow pants. I walked out to the middle and realized that I just loved it.


She clearly loved it as her mommy threw her yellow fish around for her to dig for and play with.

I realized that I loved to be out there alone... well with Abby. I loved the calm and silence of being out there. I loved that the only people that I could see were little specs walking around the lake. With all the chaos that's going on, I loved to just be alone with my dog.

Feeling Overwhelmed

I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed lately. Andy and I have SO many things that we need to do in the next month that it's practically impossible to peice it all together in my head. I wish that I was not at work and was at home so I could get all of these things done. I'm learning to enjoy the peaceful moments. Like, meeting up with a friend and attending the Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra. Or watching the olympics with a a bunch of candles lit. These moments will be so few and far between but yet so important in the coming months.

So many people have asked me if I'm excited about this wedding and sometimes I feel like I've had to fake it a little. I know that's AWFUL. It's hard to be in excitment when you have so much to do and so much money to spend that you aren't sure which way is up and which is down anymore. I'll be glad when life even's itself out and I can look to working on hobbies again.

My baby

It recently dawned on me that I have never blogged about my dog that I adore. Her name is Abby Lott and she's a 2.5 year old Yellow Lab. In my humble opinion, she is the world's most adorable dog.
She is a 60 lbs. lap dog with the biggest heart. We took a nap up north one day and I snapped this picture of her sleeping. She looks like a little bat dog.

Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to come home to Andy every day. I'm also excited to come home to this little face staring at me and wiggling uncontrollably in excitement.

I Love my doggy!! :)

Our Story

In light of my least favorite holiday (sorry to be a scrooge), I thought I would post my story with Andy. It's not the world's most captivating story but it's ours.

I used to work for my dad at his flight school (RIP Wings Inc.). One day this handsome young man walked in who worked for the FAA (tisk tisk). I thought he was so attractive and of course mouthed it to the entire nation.. ok just everyone at Wings. Brian, a guy that I worked with mentioned that he knew him and had gone to college with him. I said that it would be fun to meet him sometime but thought nothing of it since Brian can be a little flakey.

On the Wednesday after MLK day in 2004, Brian told me that we're meeting him at Moose Country in Mendota Heights. I was SO excited. I thought... what are the odds??? So I ran home and put on a cute outfit and even did my eye makeup (now you will only see that at my wedding showers and on my wedding day). I had a friend of mine come with me, for support. I walked.. ok marched into Moose Country and sat down right next to him. We started talking and did not stop talking all evening long. I have no idea what we even talked about. At the end of the night I thought that I'd never see him again. I mentioned that I'd never learned how to ski and he said he would teach me. A date was set. That Saturday we met up in the morning to go flying, skiing and end the day with a going away party. Now we'll be getting married in exactly 3 months and 1 week from todays date!

One Thing that I Love!

I always preach about doing one thing you love. Well, yesterday I did just that! My friend Shannon's dad purchased the guitar below. This is the actual guitar. I HAD to get my picture taken with it or I knew I'd regret it for a lifetime.

So, here is myself with the Prince guitar!! Although my outfit is not nearly as flashy, I had to sport the purple. That was quit an experience! How often does a person get to touch the guitar of their favorite musician. Ok, my favorite rock musician. I love all kinds of music so I could not possible have one favorite.

The Tiger

I'm back at latch hook! I call it: knitting for dummies. This peice is missing some blue (I ran out) so tomorow I'll be visiting Michaels for som yarn! This will go to my first child! Notice both blue and pink. It could go either way!!


This peice is about half way done and he'll go up north. OR maybe he'll be a gift for my daddyo! My dad likes wolves though so maybe I'll find something like that for him instead. I like doing latch hook. It's peiceful and there's very little thought involved.