The Pschology of Wedding Planning..

I think about wedding planning alot... Yes I'm married (twice actually). It just seems that once you hit the age of 21, the weddings just don't stop. Yours, your friends, your family, yours again (whoops!!!) and on and on. I feel like I've learned a lot in the course of being a bride twice and watching other people go through it and just being through so many. Not to mention the drama and the insanity. So here's what a girl with a BA in Psychology thinks one should do to get the most out of the experience, avoid the drama and keep the attention on themselves!
Expenses
Those who contribute to the weddings (parents) naturally feel compelled to give their opinions on well... everything! Why? Umm.. well if you were dropping 10K on anything wouldn't you feel compelled to get in your two cents?????? I sure as hell would! Hell, anything above 1K and my nose is in the situation if it's coming from my bank account. Make an agreement prior to the wedding with you parents. Ask them what means the most to them and allow them to be part of that specific part. Maybe they LURVE cake, let them make a few cake choices. It won't kill you and they are donating to the day long expensive event. If the mom likes the dress portion, let her come shopping but make sure she agrees that if you cry or feel like a million bucks and she doesn't like it, then she should keep it to herself. ( HAHAHAHAHA Train's Marry me just came one the radio! So appropriate!) If you can keep them involved then they will most likely be less pushy. People get pushy when they want something and aren't getting it in life.
If you are paying for it... START SAVING and make friends in high places! That and start cutting your list down to bare minimums! It's one day and if you don't speak with someone on a regular basis, they don't need to be there.
Bridal Party
one's for the girls. Chose your bridesmaids wisely. You don't need 15. That will just be WAY too much drama. Pick no more than 5 girls that you can't live without. People that would take a bullet for you. If you have more than one sister, here's the criteria for picking the best one. Pick the sister who a) knows you the most and will plan it the way you want b) is the most financially capable and c) has the most time. If you do not have sisters, the rule still applies. If you can't find anyone that fits the bill completely, stick with the girl that falls under category A!!! She can tell the financially capable ones what to do. :) LET the girls pick out their dresses. It's a lot to ask people to pay so much money on a dress they will wear once so let them have a choice. They will be very happy and feel good on your big day too. ALWAYS give your bridal party good gifts in their gift bag. Think of things that they might need on the big day and fill their gift bags with them. That way they won't incur additional wedding day expenses and they'll feel very well thought of. NEVER let anyone dictate what YOU want to do for your shower/bachelorette party! Make sure your MO knows that and plans accordingly.
Invitations
Bottom line, they end up in the trash so think about your financial bottom line. Before you even think about a printing company, drive your ass to Target or Party City and buy the cutest ones you can find. One thing to think of, the less shit in the envelope, the less you pay in postage. The only thing guests need is the invite, rsvp card and envelope and a map. Number your invites so you can keep track of who didn't respond and USE theknot.com's database. It'll be your BEST friend. If your friends offer to help you assemble them, then accept the help. Never make anyone feel obligated. But if you do ask, entice with treats or wine! People don't like to think that they're hard work will go unappreciated!
Cake
Don't ever pay a company that normally does wedding cakes, 500 for a stupid cake. It's such a waste of money. SPEND time looking around and talking to people. You can find someone who will do it for under 200. And here's another tip! If you put the cakes in the center of each table you don't need to pay for spendy shit that no one looks at in the center of the table. If your crafty or know crafty people, your center pieces are covered. If you want a small cake, just get a small cake and have the rest be sheet cakes. Guests don't know the difference and you save a lot more.
THE DRESS
Never invite more then 5 people to go wedding dress shopping with you. ONLY invite people who know you. They will KNOW when it's the right dress. You're face will light up and you may even cry. And at that point EVERYONE should be supporting you. If there's someone that you think for a minute would be too jealous or opinionated or would not appreciate the moment, then don't even bother inviting them. That includes family members. People can get really jealous when the spotlight isn't on them so just remember that. Less opinions on dress shopping day equals more satisfaction and if you don't believe me, watch an episode of Say Yes to The Dress on TLC.
Odds and Ends
Never spend a lot of money on flowers unless you can get a massive discount. They die. Always get a second opinion on spending money. Go see places and get your feet dirty. It's good to know where every dollar is going. It's also good to to minimize drama. Many guests, family and friends will think "it's not my day!" but if you have an attitude of gratitude then people will be more likely to help and want to experience it with you!

So maybe I got a little off track at times but hopefully this could be useful for someone, someday!

The P words.....

Pushing Papers... Popping Pills... I never thought I'd EVER combine these words into one statement... For the past few weeks I've noticed a little anomoly creeping into my life. This anomoly begins on Monday's and ends on Friday's. Let me explain further. Evenings begin like this:


Andy and Abby are jumping around like excited little lizards bouncing around and it's about 9pm. I'm laying in bed trying to wind down. Notice how these two things don't particularily go with each other.


11pm.... It's ELEVEN P...M... and I can't sleep. So I walk over to the kitchen, pop a Waladryl and then shortly after, begin sleeping.


This is a typical weekday occurence. Last night I opted to change it up a bit and do the whole "shower at night" thing. Morning began like this:

I have a massive headache!!!!! I slept like a baby so I don't understand why this is happening to me. I walk over to a co-workers desk and pop 2 advill. I'm fine now.. But the question remains.... WHY CAN'T I STOP POPPING PILLS JUST TO PUSH PAPERS!!!!!!!!

What's wrong with me???? When did I sign up for this? Being an adult sucks! Send me to Disney World! I'd like to pass on adulthood and return back to my youth please....

DIY Hell

Let me just begin with saying why this is DIY Hell. First of all, I'm unable to do anything because I do not know how to do it. At this stage DIY is hell for me because I can't do anything!!!!! PAINFUL!!! To top that off, my husband and his father have been lazily tackling this project while I'm upstairs biting the skin off my hands and asking them constantly what I can do to just finish it! Two households on one floor is very annoying. So I thought I would share my misery!


Exhibit A: Entrance into the pit of hell. I HATE going down here. Especially seeing those plumbing motes.

Exhibit B: This will one day be the bedroom... With a big bed and a nice walk0in closet!
Exhibit C: The bathroom... in theory.....
Exhibit D: A Hopeful second living room.
ANYONE have any advice on how to motivate two men to get the plumbing done short of just getting pregnant??????

Sniffles SUCK!

Don't you just HATE the sniffles!!! I had all these grand plans for my evening last night! I was going to create a delicious dinner using (well try to!) and clean and play with the dog. Instead, I spent my entire day sniffling and blowing snot out of a snot rag! I was SO livid. I hate coming home after an 8 hour work day feeling like I can barely move. I like to be productive and clean my home and make it somewhat nice! I ended up in bed from the moment I arrived home to 6:10AM this morning. Andy ended up making dinner and keeping me from blubbering like a child. But the ultimate in day care options for a sniffly girl is:
A big yellow puppy that's like a giant warm blanket who loves to snuggle and give endless kisses!

Coupons

This weekend I discovered a show on TLC called Extreme Couponing. At first I wrote these people off as having OCD or being hoarders. I still think that many of them fall into that category. One woman caught my attention though! She said "honey, if you haven't used coupon's that you just haven't been broke enough yet." That got me to thinking.... Why haven't I utilized coupons! It's basically free money right?!?!?! Well I did just that on Sunday! I went online to these websites: www.couponmom.com www.coupons.com www.redplum.com www.smartsource.com and www.coolsavings.com I printed out a lot of coupons... I was nervous! What if they don't work! What if I get to the register and I owe more than I'm planning on paying!
Andy and I set out to Target. I generally believe that Target has the cheapest groceries around. We went back and forth as I realized that my coupons are organized by date but NOT by department.. I'll need to work on that. After about 30 minutes our cart was full and we headed to the check out counter. We sought after a young guy because one of the ladies on the show said that they are the best and fastest! He rung up everything and like a scared little girl, I handed him a hand full of coupons...... I almost couldn't watch! Low and behold, they ALL rung up! I was SO stoked! I saved $19.30!!!! That's money that I printed off on my computer and saved by taking a little time to research. My goal was to save $10. I almost doubled my goal! I was SO excited to have saved so much money! I think I could do a lot better if I had a Sunday paper though. There's always another day though!

Got Flamingo's?

I woke up this morning. I let Abby out as usual. I was VERY stunned when I saw a sea of pink flamingo's peppered across my yard! I was too tired to have any clue as to what had just happened. I saw a piece of paper inside a plastic bag so I grabbed it and brought the dog in. As I was trying to not force breakfast down my throat I read through the paper. The Edina High School Rugby team had "flocked" my yard with these birds. See below.

I thought this was a pretty neat way to make a little money! My only question was... HOW did they get the bird on the roof!!! I also hope that my neighbors don't think that I opted to make these lawn ornaments permanent fixtures! I'm all about decorating but definitely not with plastic flamingos.

Safe to say....

Well, I think that it's safe to say that I didn't get the Fish and Wildlife job. I think I would have known by now. That's a little disheartening. I would however like to speak about "getting boxed in." I feel like many people, including myself, feel boxed in a career. You feel as though you've invested a fairly decent amount of time, energy on learning the tasks required of you, and time off! To make a very long story short, it's REALLY hard to make career changes. I'm not throwing myself a pitty party. I'm just stating the facts. It's hard to leave anything in life that you have any investment in. It makes me wonder if God pre-wired us this way to force us to THINK before we act. Think about what it would be like if making a change in any aspect of life wasn't difficult... If making changes were so easy, then we probably wouldn't learn anything at all. I'm OK with that. You need the hesitation in order for time to reflect, weigh odds and LEARN. I AM learning how to pinch pennies though! I am taking TIME to think and ask questions before I make purchasing decisions. Even if the job thing isn't happening the way I'd like it to, I'm learning SOMETHING in this life!

Guess what I just did......

I WISH WISH WISH I could just say that I accepted a new job but that isn't the case.... However, I did just pay OFF my Maurices credit card! I flubbed a little and purchased a shirt and jeans so I still have to pay that off next month, however that's roughly $30 and if they don't fit, I'm just going to return them anyways! I consider that I accomplished my first goal of the year though! Getting out of credit card debt! I feel that that is very exciting. I'm proud of myself! Although I have a gut feeling that I didn't get the Fish and Wildlife job, at least I'm trying my hardest to move forward! I'm also going to purchase ONLY one swim suit for the year and only at Target so I am forced NOT to spend a lot of money! I will win this battle against expensive temptations and keep my bank account growing!

Moving forward...a little

Today I am taking small steps in moving forward. I have an interview with Fish and Wildlife. It's just a secretary job but my pay wouldn't change! I'm pretty excited as one of my New Year's resoutions was to get a job that I LOVE! I am also down to $51 left to pay off on my Maurices credit card!!!!!!!!! I did have a little flub last night... I decided that I needed a new bathing suit this year to motivate me to work out more. So I put around $90 on my Vicky's card and purchased two suits to try on..... I know it wasn't very intelligent. My small problem is that I many of my current suits no longer fit or should I say.. aren't my style anymore. I'm not sure why I feel so compelled to purchase things!!!! I can't seem to shake my need for fabulous things! Ugh. One day at a time I suppose.

Sunday night suck

I hate Sunday's. Do you remember how it feels during school and you just lived for Friday's and Sunday's were the absolute worst. I hate Sunday's. I hate the sinking feeling of dread in my gut that I need to wake up at 6AM tomorrow. But hey world, guess what.... I have an interview with US Fish and Wildlife on Thursday as a secretary!!!! I'm pushing forward and I'm going to find a job that doesn't make me feel like this! I'm also down to $100 left to pay off on my Maurices card. I went their today and returned $48 worth of clothing and paid cash for less a pair of pants 9.99 and a shirt 4.99!!!! WIN!!!!! I can be good about shopping you know! I'm going to get through my new years plans like a bull ina china shop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finding the dream

I have always firmly believed that you need to LOVE what you do in order to thrive, not survive but THRIVE in this life. I'm very good at preaching this point to anyone who will listen however I seem completely incapable of taking my own advice. So I'm going to start by blogging about my journey and maybe putting it in writing will help me. I've never really LOVED what I've done at least what I've gotten paid to do. So my first step is to talk about the things that make me truly happy. Due to my lack of patience I'm going to just write them down in list order.

1) I love spending time with animals. They are free of judgment (not always for cats though). Piss a cat off and they'll ignore you for days.
2) I love helping people move forward in life. That makes me feel very satisfied.
3) I like helping people in general but in a way that is satisfying to them. I think I have an abnormal ability to empathize with people but I can also be quick to judge. That's probably the downfall to empathy. Sometimes it starts as empathy but then turns to judgment. I'm working on that.
4) I am not creative with art or things like that, but I feel that I'm a creative problem solver. Especially with helping friends out with their problems in life.
5) I enjoy being home cleaning and ironing. I hate cooking. I'm scared of wasting food and I have no natural talent for it.
6) I love shopping for clothing. I could buy a new piece of clothing every day.

I'll leave it with that as of now. I'm going to think about these things a lot of do some networking. I think that networking is good and it keeps you in touch with people and the outside world. With that said, this is my starting point and I plan on moving forward from here. Probably not in a blaze of glory but I must press on!

I didn't die....

I haven't blogged in a century!!!! Therefore, I did not die!

I have a found a great reason to enjoy coming to work and now I've found out that it's only temporary... :( 1) Jerico. He's 8 years old and SUPER cute and yellow with soft ears! He's the ICE labrador and BOY does he love to be pet and loved! He's super adorable! When I get to pet him, I can't wipe the smile off of my face! 2) Boomer. He is a guide dog in the building and he's SOOOOO cute!!! No, I have not asked to touch or pet him since he's a "working" dog. One day I will ask though... The worst I can get is No but I'll still have a smile on my face from seeing such a cute puppy!

That's all for today! Merry Christmas!

One Day at a Time

I'm back from my wedding/honeymoon/not-long-enough vacation from work. I'm finding that I want to move a mountain every day. We have an unfinished basement that will soon house a big bathroom, bedroom, walk-in closet and projector. We have quit a bit of work to do and I just want to snap my fingers and have it done right away! As with all things in life, that just isn't possible. So, with a heavy heart, today we will pick out our bathroom vanity so that we can start planning for the next steps of the basement. One thing at a time and one day at a time. I know that the house needs to evolve but I wish that the "evolution" process would move a little faster.....

I loved travelling but it's just nice to be home again. I enjoy being married and I enjoy being a wife. Now it's time to move forward and learn to love remodelling!

Insanity

I just feel like chaos is happening, all around me. Work is crazy (with emotions from those that were dealt a big blow yesterday) and now personal life is crazy with Andy moving out of his house this week. I also had two fillings put into my mouth yesterday and I'm REALLY sore. I'm starting to feel like I just want to run away. So, last night I worked a little more on the rug. I'm about two third's done now!!! You can actually tell what it is.

Monday Monday

It's DEFINITELY a Monday. I all ready have a laundry list of things I need to do after work. T-5 days until my first wedding shower. I'm excited and nervous all at once. There's so much going on that my head feels like it's going to spin and fly off. Hopefully it'll land in the front row of a theatre in London.... :):) I'm also actively trying to wear green as it's Saint Patty's day on Wednesday. I don't really celebrate but it definitely gives me an excuse to wear items in my wardrobe that sometimes become forgotten.

Yesterday was SO beautiful and I hope my wedding day is as nice as that!

Today's Creative Efforts

Today, I walked into the bathroom and stared at my THREE curling irons. All of which are different sizes. I grabbed a newer one and plugged it in. I wanted to see what would happen so I just started curling until I got bored and VOILA! There are the curls! I have yet to figure out a way to hide my gigantic forehead but I can tackle that mystery tomorrow!

LND

Yesterday evening, Love Never Dies officially opened at the West End. I'm quit happy to report that the opening performance seemed to go very well. It seems like ALW has created quit an interesting weave of emotions for the three main characters. I can hardly wait to receive my copy of the albumn in the mail. Amazon has kindly informed me that it is on it's way. I can now only hope that Ramin and Sierra will be performing the night that we see the show. Ah to be on the heals of seeing two beautiful musicals in the West End.

Not to forget the following nights performance of The Phantom of the Opera. :) It's almost impossible to keep the wedding and the honeymoon straight. Priorities.. Priorities.

Caught Up

I'm planning a dream honeymoon. One that I could never have imagined that I'd be going on. When I was a little girl, I made a precious scrap book that, to this day, I have not shared with anyone. It's a cute intermingling of my heart and some goofy teenage interests. I shared my feelings about songs, my favorite musical, and my wishes for my future. I remember feeling that nothing would stop me from my dreams and that I would achieve them no matter the cost. I even made my own sequel to my favorite musical. So, now I get to live the dream and really find out what happens to these two characters with the utmost interesting and beautiful souls. Of course, no trip to London would be complete without seeing the musical that has been the one thing I've been interested in and have enjoyed for the majority of my life. No trip to Paris would also be complete without seeing the Opera house either. I reflect at this trip and realize that I truly am a lucky lucky woman.
The dream trip has swept me so far in that I've almost forgotten about the events prior. Possibly because this dream is a lot easier to plan and it's plans only involve 2 people as opposed to many more. So, as with everything, I'm going to take life one day at a time and enjoy the little things. Yesterday I bought the most perfect pair of shoes. They are TSA friendly, extremely comfortable for walking in and could be either dressy or be worn with jeans. Keep focusing on the small things.

Just another day?

Sometimes weddings and change bring out the best in people and sometimes they bring out the worst. Some days are easier to cope with and some are not. Sometimes I lay awake in my bed before it's time to get up and I feel like my heart is racing a thousand miles a minute. Am I having a heart attack? I need that warm comfortable place to visit every once in a while. A place that can only be found through a farmiliar song, a joke, a picture, or a cup of tea. My mind is flooded. What color paint should I use, which picture should go where, how many musicals will I see and how will I get into the Paris Opera house? So many things need attention and yet, which one requires it immediately? The wedding and the honeymoon will win that battle.

As with many things, I anticipate that I will learn more about myself and maybe even "find" myself in the approaching months ahead. It will be a good to know those things.

Andy's Bathroom

I finally got my dirty hands on Andy's downstairs bathroom! The walls and ceiling were the same disgusting dark grey. So I picked a paint color and took a trip to target to grab a shower curtain. Voila!!! The new bathroom.

I like how the grey I picked still has color but not too much color! :) We also painted the light panels white.

This project was monumental and took forever and yet it was just the beginning...