A Night Alone

Andy leaves me for one night for work.  Just one easy night right?  Evan has been waking up only once lately so should be a giant N B D!!!!  NOT SO!  Not in this house.  At this point I am convinced that Andy's grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, has left her body and is hanging out around my house causing chaos and insanity.  Let me paint a picture.

To begin with the damn squirrels are EATING our pumpkin.  NO ONE else in our neighborhood has this problem.  On top of that, I have saved 3 random dogs from killing themselves because their owners couldn't keep them in their respective yards.  WTF animal kingdom?!

9PM: ALL living things are in bed.
935PM: Abby the dog decides to go for a random stroll around the house.  She NEVER does this EVER.  I get up and get her back to bed.
945PM: Evan wakes up crying.  He just ate an hour ago but he's hungry again.  SOMEHOW a level 3 nipple ends up on his bottle so he is FREAKING out.  I have checked all of his bottles so I have NO CLUE how this happened.
1030PM: He has eaten his entire middle of the night bottle so put him to bed, go get water ready for a formula bottle
1040PM: ALL living things in bed and bottles are ready
12AM: Evan is up and hungry again!  Give him 3 ounces of his medicine bottle and he chows it down
1230AM: ALL living things back in bed
330AM: Evan is UP again and hungry (yes I did give him two meals with solids the day prior) I actually have to shake formula so he is FREAKING out because he doesn't want to wait.  The dog now has NEEDS so let her out potty, feed her and clean off used bottles so I don't have to do it in a few hours
4AM: ALL living things back in bed
5AM: Evan's fussing but not for any real reason
6AM: Fussing picks up again for a brief period of time
7AM: GOOD MORNING WORLD!!!!!!

Meanwhile I look like the swamp thing had a baby with Elvira and the baby spent the entire time in the womb without sleep. I hate mornings alone too because I don't have anyone to play with Evan while I'm assembling bottles, medicine, vitamins and trying to pump out my engorged boobs.  Oh and when I am pumping, I have to entertain him but the only thing he really wants to do is grab the tubing which then causes the suction to misplace and well... that just hurts.