Autism is Autism is Autism

When Evan and I go to the park I generally do not tell other parents that he has autism.  Mostly because he plays well with other kids and I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation.  Sometimes he has moments with other children where he doesn't respond so I explain to other peoples kids that sometimes he just doesn't respond because he's playing with his Mickey Mouse.  Then I'll tell the parent that he has autism and I almost ALWAYS get the same question......

Does he have Asperger's?

via GIPHY

It's not "technically" called Asperger's anymore.  I assume that those people who ask this question, do not know the entire history of Autism and all those involved in it's changing definition.  I also assume that they don't want to hear the entire history or have time to hear it either.....

Here's what I think people are trying to ask:
How functional is he?
Is he predictable or is he going to do socially strange things at this park?
Does his autism affect him a lot or can he just play like a normal kid?

I have recently decided to move away from calling Evan "high functioning" because he has high and low functioning moments in life similar to everyone else.  Some times they are related to autism and sometimes it's because life can just suck a little.  If you are reading this and thinking to yourself, "I don't have low functioning moments in life."  Well..... I beg to differ.  Read: Sneaky Hate Spiral.  You and I BOTH know you've cursed the wind or just cried in your car because life sucked.  It just isn't possible for even a normal to be high functioning at all times so don't lie to yourself LOL!   I just cursed the rain yesterday.......

Here are GOOD questions to ask random parents you've never met, whose kids have autism:

What does he/she like to do for fun?
Does he/she have a favorite teacher in school?
Does he/she have a favorite book?

You can even ask autism children these rousing questions and you might get some really cool answers or no answer at all!  My child will willingly discuss cars with strangers.  In his mind he owns a Hyundai and a Honda.  He starts my car before we leave for school every day. But just asking either one of us says so much more to us than the first question because all these question say the most important thing: I want to understand you more.

Autism doesn't define a person.  It just summarizes and generalizes some of their struggles.  I have anxiety but no stranger ever asks me "Do you have anxiety?"  "How's your anxiety today?"  Well, I hate bugs and Evan got mauled by gnats so I'm a bit put out (said lightly, I've bug sprayed the yard repeatedly and make him wear deet to play outside) about that but it's not really defining my day or my life.

Autism: What I Think You Should Know

I haven't blogged in a long time because... I just haven't wanted to.  I ran a marathon. My son got an autism diagnosis from school 2 years ago.  I kept running because the endorphins are addicting and it makes me feel like I'm trying harder in life.

This past week I attended the Autism conference and got to hear Steve Silberman speak.  I really hate celebrities but I DO love and look up to people who contribute to society and animals.  Steve is my celebrity. Temple Grandin, Chris Ulmer, my friends at SeaWorld who are fighting for animals and the list goes on.

Steve put in the time and research and wrote a history book for people with autism.  If you take a look at ALL the history books out there, how many are there on autism?  How many? Yet we can find books on black history, women's history, white people bringing diseases to America history (lol I had to, it's the truth).

Do you even know how many people HAVE autism?  1 in 64.

Unless you live like a hermit, you've encountered an autistic person in your life and most likely without even knowing it.  And yet, where are the marches for their rights?  Where is the outcrying for help for adults with autism?  I don't see it.  In fact, insurance companies will actually DROP autistics who do not show fast enough improvement using ABA by a certain period of time.  It broke my heart to hear adults with autism speak about their challenges in society as well as hearing Temple Grandin and Steve speak about the lack of assistance and rights that they have.

I like to describe my son as having a "beautiful brain."  Some people are blessed with beautiful looks and some are blessed with a beautiful brain.  The irony is that the beautiful brained people are the ones coding for Google so the "normals" can waste time on irrelevant shit like the Kardashians.  And yet those beautiful brained people are still, STILL fighting for their place in society. Teach your kids about autism.  Show them this video done by Sesame Street.   If it's worth it to you to march or be concerned for anyones rights then you should be equally concerned about the rights of the autistic community.  It's not that they should conform to the "normals" social ways but that the normals should be asking "how can we make our society a better place for the autistics to thrive?"   Don't be afraid of children lining up toys or obsessing over switches, vacuums or cars.  Don't be afraid of the adult rocking back and forth in public.  Don't treat these people and children like outcasts and outsiders.  I find the autism community to be freeing.  They aren't comparing their clothes to mine or their hair or makeup.  I actually put makeup on to attend the autism conference and by makeup I mean I put some 2 year old foundation on my face.  

 Hearing Steve and Temple speak has been one of the highlights of my year (Def Leppard and Miranda Lambert, watch yourselves). I can now present this book to my child when he's old enough to read and process it and say "Here, here is YOUR history.  Here are those that came before you that had beautiful brains."  My only regret is not being able to afford the entire Autism conference this year both in time and finances.  I can't say enough how important it is for society to read this book and educate themselves on Autism with facts. As a non-autstic person, it is ALL of our jobs to normalize autism.  How can we expect the autistic's to fight for themselves when many lack the social skills to do so.  It's OUR job to fight for them.   I will ALWAYS fight hard for society to make a place for my son.