The Pschology of Wedding Planning..

I think about wedding planning alot... Yes I'm married (twice actually). It just seems that once you hit the age of 21, the weddings just don't stop. Yours, your friends, your family, yours again (whoops!!!) and on and on. I feel like I've learned a lot in the course of being a bride twice and watching other people go through it and just being through so many. Not to mention the drama and the insanity. So here's what a girl with a BA in Psychology thinks one should do to get the most out of the experience, avoid the drama and keep the attention on themselves!
Expenses
Those who contribute to the weddings (parents) naturally feel compelled to give their opinions on well... everything! Why? Umm.. well if you were dropping 10K on anything wouldn't you feel compelled to get in your two cents?????? I sure as hell would! Hell, anything above 1K and my nose is in the situation if it's coming from my bank account. Make an agreement prior to the wedding with you parents. Ask them what means the most to them and allow them to be part of that specific part. Maybe they LURVE cake, let them make a few cake choices. It won't kill you and they are donating to the day long expensive event. If the mom likes the dress portion, let her come shopping but make sure she agrees that if you cry or feel like a million bucks and she doesn't like it, then she should keep it to herself. ( HAHAHAHAHA Train's Marry me just came one the radio! So appropriate!) If you can keep them involved then they will most likely be less pushy. People get pushy when they want something and aren't getting it in life.
If you are paying for it... START SAVING and make friends in high places! That and start cutting your list down to bare minimums! It's one day and if you don't speak with someone on a regular basis, they don't need to be there.
Bridal Party
one's for the girls. Chose your bridesmaids wisely. You don't need 15. That will just be WAY too much drama. Pick no more than 5 girls that you can't live without. People that would take a bullet for you. If you have more than one sister, here's the criteria for picking the best one. Pick the sister who a) knows you the most and will plan it the way you want b) is the most financially capable and c) has the most time. If you do not have sisters, the rule still applies. If you can't find anyone that fits the bill completely, stick with the girl that falls under category A!!! She can tell the financially capable ones what to do. :) LET the girls pick out their dresses. It's a lot to ask people to pay so much money on a dress they will wear once so let them have a choice. They will be very happy and feel good on your big day too. ALWAYS give your bridal party good gifts in their gift bag. Think of things that they might need on the big day and fill their gift bags with them. That way they won't incur additional wedding day expenses and they'll feel very well thought of. NEVER let anyone dictate what YOU want to do for your shower/bachelorette party! Make sure your MO knows that and plans accordingly.
Invitations
Bottom line, they end up in the trash so think about your financial bottom line. Before you even think about a printing company, drive your ass to Target or Party City and buy the cutest ones you can find. One thing to think of, the less shit in the envelope, the less you pay in postage. The only thing guests need is the invite, rsvp card and envelope and a map. Number your invites so you can keep track of who didn't respond and USE theknot.com's database. It'll be your BEST friend. If your friends offer to help you assemble them, then accept the help. Never make anyone feel obligated. But if you do ask, entice with treats or wine! People don't like to think that they're hard work will go unappreciated!
Cake
Don't ever pay a company that normally does wedding cakes, 500 for a stupid cake. It's such a waste of money. SPEND time looking around and talking to people. You can find someone who will do it for under 200. And here's another tip! If you put the cakes in the center of each table you don't need to pay for spendy shit that no one looks at in the center of the table. If your crafty or know crafty people, your center pieces are covered. If you want a small cake, just get a small cake and have the rest be sheet cakes. Guests don't know the difference and you save a lot more.
THE DRESS
Never invite more then 5 people to go wedding dress shopping with you. ONLY invite people who know you. They will KNOW when it's the right dress. You're face will light up and you may even cry. And at that point EVERYONE should be supporting you. If there's someone that you think for a minute would be too jealous or opinionated or would not appreciate the moment, then don't even bother inviting them. That includes family members. People can get really jealous when the spotlight isn't on them so just remember that. Less opinions on dress shopping day equals more satisfaction and if you don't believe me, watch an episode of Say Yes to The Dress on TLC.
Odds and Ends
Never spend a lot of money on flowers unless you can get a massive discount. They die. Always get a second opinion on spending money. Go see places and get your feet dirty. It's good to know where every dollar is going. It's also good to to minimize drama. Many guests, family and friends will think "it's not my day!" but if you have an attitude of gratitude then people will be more likely to help and want to experience it with you!

So maybe I got a little off track at times but hopefully this could be useful for someone, someday!

The P words.....

Pushing Papers... Popping Pills... I never thought I'd EVER combine these words into one statement... For the past few weeks I've noticed a little anomoly creeping into my life. This anomoly begins on Monday's and ends on Friday's. Let me explain further. Evenings begin like this:


Andy and Abby are jumping around like excited little lizards bouncing around and it's about 9pm. I'm laying in bed trying to wind down. Notice how these two things don't particularily go with each other.


11pm.... It's ELEVEN P...M... and I can't sleep. So I walk over to the kitchen, pop a Waladryl and then shortly after, begin sleeping.


This is a typical weekday occurence. Last night I opted to change it up a bit and do the whole "shower at night" thing. Morning began like this:

I have a massive headache!!!!! I slept like a baby so I don't understand why this is happening to me. I walk over to a co-workers desk and pop 2 advill. I'm fine now.. But the question remains.... WHY CAN'T I STOP POPPING PILLS JUST TO PUSH PAPERS!!!!!!!!

What's wrong with me???? When did I sign up for this? Being an adult sucks! Send me to Disney World! I'd like to pass on adulthood and return back to my youth please....

DIY Hell

Let me just begin with saying why this is DIY Hell. First of all, I'm unable to do anything because I do not know how to do it. At this stage DIY is hell for me because I can't do anything!!!!! PAINFUL!!! To top that off, my husband and his father have been lazily tackling this project while I'm upstairs biting the skin off my hands and asking them constantly what I can do to just finish it! Two households on one floor is very annoying. So I thought I would share my misery!


Exhibit A: Entrance into the pit of hell. I HATE going down here. Especially seeing those plumbing motes.

Exhibit B: This will one day be the bedroom... With a big bed and a nice walk0in closet!
Exhibit C: The bathroom... in theory.....
Exhibit D: A Hopeful second living room.
ANYONE have any advice on how to motivate two men to get the plumbing done short of just getting pregnant??????

Sniffles SUCK!

Don't you just HATE the sniffles!!! I had all these grand plans for my evening last night! I was going to create a delicious dinner using (well try to!) and clean and play with the dog. Instead, I spent my entire day sniffling and blowing snot out of a snot rag! I was SO livid. I hate coming home after an 8 hour work day feeling like I can barely move. I like to be productive and clean my home and make it somewhat nice! I ended up in bed from the moment I arrived home to 6:10AM this morning. Andy ended up making dinner and keeping me from blubbering like a child. But the ultimate in day care options for a sniffly girl is:
A big yellow puppy that's like a giant warm blanket who loves to snuggle and give endless kisses!

Coupons

This weekend I discovered a show on TLC called Extreme Couponing. At first I wrote these people off as having OCD or being hoarders. I still think that many of them fall into that category. One woman caught my attention though! She said "honey, if you haven't used coupon's that you just haven't been broke enough yet." That got me to thinking.... Why haven't I utilized coupons! It's basically free money right?!?!?! Well I did just that on Sunday! I went online to these websites: www.couponmom.com www.coupons.com www.redplum.com www.smartsource.com and www.coolsavings.com I printed out a lot of coupons... I was nervous! What if they don't work! What if I get to the register and I owe more than I'm planning on paying!
Andy and I set out to Target. I generally believe that Target has the cheapest groceries around. We went back and forth as I realized that my coupons are organized by date but NOT by department.. I'll need to work on that. After about 30 minutes our cart was full and we headed to the check out counter. We sought after a young guy because one of the ladies on the show said that they are the best and fastest! He rung up everything and like a scared little girl, I handed him a hand full of coupons...... I almost couldn't watch! Low and behold, they ALL rung up! I was SO stoked! I saved $19.30!!!! That's money that I printed off on my computer and saved by taking a little time to research. My goal was to save $10. I almost doubled my goal! I was SO excited to have saved so much money! I think I could do a lot better if I had a Sunday paper though. There's always another day though!

Got Flamingo's?

I woke up this morning. I let Abby out as usual. I was VERY stunned when I saw a sea of pink flamingo's peppered across my yard! I was too tired to have any clue as to what had just happened. I saw a piece of paper inside a plastic bag so I grabbed it and brought the dog in. As I was trying to not force breakfast down my throat I read through the paper. The Edina High School Rugby team had "flocked" my yard with these birds. See below.

I thought this was a pretty neat way to make a little money! My only question was... HOW did they get the bird on the roof!!! I also hope that my neighbors don't think that I opted to make these lawn ornaments permanent fixtures! I'm all about decorating but definitely not with plastic flamingos.

Safe to say....

Well, I think that it's safe to say that I didn't get the Fish and Wildlife job. I think I would have known by now. That's a little disheartening. I would however like to speak about "getting boxed in." I feel like many people, including myself, feel boxed in a career. You feel as though you've invested a fairly decent amount of time, energy on learning the tasks required of you, and time off! To make a very long story short, it's REALLY hard to make career changes. I'm not throwing myself a pitty party. I'm just stating the facts. It's hard to leave anything in life that you have any investment in. It makes me wonder if God pre-wired us this way to force us to THINK before we act. Think about what it would be like if making a change in any aspect of life wasn't difficult... If making changes were so easy, then we probably wouldn't learn anything at all. I'm OK with that. You need the hesitation in order for time to reflect, weigh odds and LEARN. I AM learning how to pinch pennies though! I am taking TIME to think and ask questions before I make purchasing decisions. Even if the job thing isn't happening the way I'd like it to, I'm learning SOMETHING in this life!

Guess what I just did......

I WISH WISH WISH I could just say that I accepted a new job but that isn't the case.... However, I did just pay OFF my Maurices credit card! I flubbed a little and purchased a shirt and jeans so I still have to pay that off next month, however that's roughly $30 and if they don't fit, I'm just going to return them anyways! I consider that I accomplished my first goal of the year though! Getting out of credit card debt! I feel that that is very exciting. I'm proud of myself! Although I have a gut feeling that I didn't get the Fish and Wildlife job, at least I'm trying my hardest to move forward! I'm also going to purchase ONLY one swim suit for the year and only at Target so I am forced NOT to spend a lot of money! I will win this battle against expensive temptations and keep my bank account growing!