Belly Laughs

I'm dedicating this blog to all of the really funny things that have been happening to me. Ok fine, some of them haven't been very funny but God put me on this earth to find humor in everything! (If I ever doubted it, I went to my podcast of Joel Osteen and it went immediately to The Healing Power of Laughter.... told you so)

Where's the Parking???
Before I became pregnant, I always noticed the "Expectant Mother's Parking." Have you seen those? Those are the ones you always try to park in at the mall because they don't have a "handicap" symbol on the cement yet when you think you've victoriously found a close spot where you KNOW you can get in the mall without getting robbed or mugged and you look up and there's a little stork with a sign that says "Expectant Mother's Parking."See image below:

Well, these little parking miracles are suddenly no where to be found.  I'm sure this is God's way of saying "get off your ass and walk... lazy" (as I grab for my coffee loaded with creamer). I haven't seen these and I've even gone looking for them.  Sad that I actually admitted that, but I have.  Have YOU ever parked at the Mall of America??? It SUCKS!  OK, I'm VERY aware that I'm 15.5 weeks pregnant, barely showing and definitely capable of walking even running anywhere I need to go.  My justification: my nose runs all the time.. shouldn't I get SOME benefit!  Yes I should and it's called: PREGNANCY SAFE MEDICATION dumbass.  I'm sure if I even tried to park in one of those coveted spots, I'd get screamed at by someone who is visibly pregnant.  I should probably be thankful that I haven't done that to myself yet.

I can't breathe....
This doesn't sound funny but to me, it is.  If you saw my trash cans (FILLED with tissue) you'd probably laugh or say "can't you fix yourself" or feel bad for me.  The dog is in heaven.  Imagine if the best part of your day was getting in the trash....  You'd be in total dog heaven too.  Well, can you believe that I have found humor in it???  Some people at "work," who shall not be named, cannot stand my nose blowing.  I can tell because whenever I do it, they clear their throat.  Well, if someone blowing their nose is an irritant to you...  boy I hope they don't have any real problems!! haha!!  So, I secretly chuckle to myself and thank God I don't get so irritated by silly things or people in general.  By the way, if you are in Edina and need some allergy medication that's pregnancy safe....  I think my house now qualifies to be a pharmacy!

What should/can I wear???
One of the best laughs I've had is trying on "future" large stomach clothing.  It almost looks like your anticipating a bear belly.  I spent about 30 extra minutes trying on clothes I KNEW wouldn't fit in the store.  That or some shirts look like a big nap sack!  Try putting on both!  I'm at this goofy stage where I just started showing and my middle is getting thicker.  Sometimes I'll put things on "BB" (before baby) that I think I can still wear.  Boy do I get a rude awakening!  I can't even be mad or sad!  My pajamas are starting to get tight too!  It's just funny.  Maybe sometime I'll show you...

Sometimes you do get what you wish for!
For MONTHS I've been praying for a little boost in body temperature.  Well, yesterday, my prayers were answered!  I put on the normal amount of clothing I usually do, went out shopping with Andy and almost asked for an ice cream cone.  Our last stop was the fish store.  If you've ever been to A World of Fish, it's VERY hot in the store.  I walked in and just started stripping down to a t-shirt. Luckily, no one was around to see.  We were in sears and there were so many people I couldn't bring myself to take even my jacket off but I unzipped everything!  I even came home and noticed I didn't need a long sleeve T AND a sweatshirt.  However this DOES make the clothing issues a tad more difficult...  Andy's still adjusting too.  He always turns the heat up high and I'm how turning it down.  He's probably in HUSBAND heaven!

I have  BUSY week ahead so probably won't be blogging again for a week or so.

14 Weeks

I have MUCH to report!

Food:
Food still sucks but on a very positive note, I'm always up for eating eggs and eggs are the BEST for baby's so I'm eating them in the morning and then again for lunch with a salad. Eggs are my BFF!!!!! Burger meat can take a giant hike though. I hate it. The thought of eating burger meat makes me want to vomit on myself several times. SIGH.... One very crazy thing for me is milk! I have been lactose intolerant my entire life. Well, not anymore! I'm completely able to drink milk! I even crave it. It's totally insane. I would also do ANYTHING for a potato. I love potatos in any format!

Elephants still make me cry:
Last Sunday Andy and I were watching TV and came across this story. A stray dog had befriended an elephant at a local sanctuary. They were the BEST of friends. The dog got sick, had to have surgery and and the elphant wouldn't LEAVE where ther dog was. They even brought the dog out to see the elephant right after it's surgery. Well.... weeks later the dog was attacked by coyotes and killed. The elephant CARRIED the dog a mile back to the home...... I BAWLED SO HARD!!!!!!!! I think I just WANT an elephant now! Needless to say, the babies room theme will probably be elephants...

Maternity Shopping for DUMMIES:
I went maternity shopping for the first time... It was terrifying. I discovered the hard way that Targets belly band SUCKS and you should just drop the cash on the one from Motherhood Maternity. I also discovered how EXPENSIVE maternity clothing is! YUCK! So I discovered Bellies to Babies in Richfield. VERY affordable and cute clothes too! I found that the most comfortable pants are the ones with the giant strap that goes over your belly. I bought 3 pairs! Many things are marked at $11 and $7! Great prices!

Cold and Allergies... no friend of mine:
Last week I got a cold and I was MISERABLE. I even had to take 6 hours of precious sick leave. I had ONE day of feeling normal and then BAM, allergies sprung on me like a bat out of hell! SO unfair! I've been trying everything and so far, little luck. I look like Rudolph because of all the snot blowing I've been doing. It seems though that the colder temps are helping so BRING on the SNOW!

Home projects = OVERWHELMED:
So, my bright idea was to go from a very large fish tank to a much smaller one. Well, this project is turning into a giant disaster as the fish store took a week to tell us that they didn't have the stand we needed. We got the stand and it's missing screws. Now we need to WAIT for the screws but at least they are for the door so we may be able to press on without them. Regardless I just want nothing more than to have this stupid tank up and to be able to shut down the other tank, clean it out and have the new owner pick it up! This is not even mentioning the basement. That's a whole other animal in and of itself! Still very stressful though. Nothing worse than looking into the babys room and it's SO full of crap that will be going in the basement that you can't open the door all the way! YUCK!

12.5 Weeks

It's Saturday 11/05/11 and I'm 12.5 weeks pregnant.  MANY more weeks to go.  I finally popped out the past few weeks and I can definitely see why people wait no longer than 12 weeks to let others knows.  You just flat out can't hide it anymore.  I've decided that I'm going to post a funny Katieism every blog.  I make myself laugh ALL the time.  But before doing that I'm going to tell you about my weekend.  Andy and I are breaking down his fish tank as we just won't have room for it with the baby on the way.  This is the ONE thing I have been dreading because it's HUGE.  Not only that but I mess up my back when I lift anything heavy so my ability to help a whole lot is limited beyond driving a vehicle.  As we speak, there are some people here buying some of the live rock so that will be SO nice to have a little less to have to bring back to the store!  So, that's our monumental task for the weekend (NOT including the basement). 

Pause for Katieism: I went to the chiropractor on Friday.  There's an intern there who is 6 months pregnant.  I thought.. OH FUN!  wrong. They give you a mini massage beforehand and she's saying how beautiful her hair has been and her skin and how she never got sick and hasn't gained that much weight and eats all organic and blah blah blah.  Have you seen the scene from Bridesmaids when Kristen Wiig is driving home and she's making fun of Ellen, her friends beautiful friend who seems to be taking her place as Maid of Honor?  Well THAT was me driving home.  Picture a bloated, relaxed, zitty pregnant girl waving her head around saying "OH I'M THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PREGNANT PRINCESS IN THE WORLD (mocking her of course)"  I was so into it I don't even know if anyone was watching and I'm sure they were. 

End of Pause..

So, other than my energy slowly coming back to me and my stomach popping out and the bevy of chores that we are doing, I would say all is going well.  We got to hear the heart beat for the 3rd time on Wednesday!  And below is a picture of the little gummy bear at 8 weeks!

What's YOUR birth plan?

One thing I'm starting to see is that there's this baby making underworld... Sort of like a a kinky underground club but for mothers or mothers to be. It's called the "What's your birth plan Club." Some women feel a sense of power being able to push a baby out with out any medication or a C-Section. And when you say the words "Epidural" to them, they turn their nose up and look at you like you are some kind of cocaine drug addict. Some of these women have never given birth at all. I've experienced this underground club a LOT lately. And I am NOT talking about people who are pro natural birth. I'm talking about people who think YOU are a disgust if you do not agree with them. There's a BIG difference here!!

My opinion: TO EACH THEIR OWN! You simply cannot tell someone what's right for them and you should NEVER make anyone feel like less of a person because they don't do things a certain way. I freely say my birth plan is to have an epidural and I don't care what anyone says about it. I know my body better than anyone else and that's what I believe will work for me. You should NEVER feel bad about your birth plan. Sometimes you don't even have a choice. My mother certainly did not and I'm sure she would have rather not had a C-Section but I was practically sideways so there was no other way. Women just do not know each others situations enough and should be supportive regardless. Any birth of a healthy baby is a success in my eyes. Of course none of these underground club members will read this but I like venting it.


End of RANT!

First Trimester: The Good, the Bad and the Funny!

Well, I have now gone public with my pregnancy. I'm due 05/14/12 and things have been quit entertaining and new thus far!

Getting Pregnant:

I'm not going to make up some story and pretend I'm perfect. I'm impatient actually... So... After a few months a trying and have 0 success I went out and bought myself a few "Can I Get Pregnant Dipsticks." I was quit elated when they said "Yes Katie, your body works" Little did I know what I was getting myself in to. I figured after the first month of using dipsticks I could just blame Andy! Not so much..... Several weeks later I noticed something in life that was missing and on "LABOR DAY" found that indeed not only was something missing but something was changing. That was the first pregnancy test followed by 3 more.... Just to be sure... So that was that! Now what.... Now we call the doctor friend who says come down to the office for an early ultrasound.

6 Weeks... So Katie says:

I knew the exact day this whole thing went down. The fellow working the machine was skeptical but I thought... we'll see about that!!! So we did an ultrasound and sure enough there was the little heart beat thumping away at 122 bmp! COOL! Then he says "lets check to see if there are more." WHAT! I about fell out of the chair. But no... no more than one for me! Thank the Lord for me because I know nothing about kids as it is! Our doctor friend had also said to expect to start feeling sick. I hadn't felt sick yet so I thought, I'm SO golden on this one!

Never Safe from Morning Sickness:

Of course approximately 3 days later I feel like I could just DIE at any moment. I can't vomit but I'm not 100%. It's a cruel in between and it lasts ALL DAY for me! I'd go to work, chew on saltines, go home, eat and then in bed by 7pm. I thought for sure I'd die and then for sure that I'd never want to go through it again. In the midst of this if you were to ask how many kids I'd like to have the answer would be ONE and ONE dog that I don't have to give birth to! So the term Morning Sickness is a bunch of shit. I did get a little lucky in that the actual sick feeling only lasted 2 weeks.

Shrek's Wife:

I thought to myself, this is so GRAND. I'm going to start glowing like most women do. Oh no.... wrong again Katie! The zits started popping up and they haven't stopped since. In fact, I still feel like a disgusting ogre! But none of my friends had this issue or I don't remember them having it... why me! So unfair.... But, I keep telling myself that I have a healthy baby in there so there's nothing to complain about. Even though I could pass for Shrek's wife...

Emotions and baby Elephants:

I tend to laugh more than cry so feeling on the verge of tears on a frequent basis was nothing I was looking forward to. Ever. Well... I could tell things were getting worse but my Best Buy trip was when I knew that I've crossed the emotional threshold of insanity. I stared at 30 TV's all showing the same thing. The worlds cutest baby elephant. I about died right there. But then something occurred to me... Why would they be showing an adorable baby elephant laying down? This was going to end in disaster and I KNEW it!! The tears started welling up and I looked at Andy and said "If something happens to that baby elephant, I'm going to start bawling and I don't CARE who see's it!" We immediately left to divert a tears disaster.

Food. Friend or Foe?

I knew about Morning Sickness but I didn't really understand how other foods affected you while you are pregnant. Once I didn't feel sick anymore I thought to myself "WONDERFUL! Back to normal!" Boy was that another facade. First you have to obey all these rules which REALLY suck when all you want is SHRIMP ALL THE TIME! Luckily the OB gives you a handy fish chart but still..... I made meatloaf one evening from grass fed beef and a recipe I knew would be good. I got two bites away from finishing it and it all tried to make it's way back OUT!! I was very upset at the loss as I couldn't even touch it after that. I call it the sneak attack because for all you know, everything is going well! No problems and then BAM, the gag reflex hit's like a truck!

Sleep, never enough!

One thing that I knew but again wasn't entirely prepared for is the desperate need to sleep! For several weeks I was in bed by 7pm, teeth unbrushed and face unwashed because I had 0 energy to handle the task (which didn't particularly help with zits...). Even as I round out the 1st trimester, I'd rather be in bed then typing on my desktop. Sometimes I'd get half way through a meal and almost fall asleep. It is as if my body can't decide if it wants food or sleep. Both very desirable things to have but no decision can be made as to which is better. Sort of like sleep/eat purgatory.

Conclusion:
First trimester down, basement is coming along, i'm staying healthy, fish tank will be gone very soon and most importantly, baby is healthy too!