I think about wedding planning alot... Yes I'm married (twice actually). It just seems that once you hit the age of 21, the weddings just don't stop. Yours, your friends, your family, yours again (whoops!!!) and on and on. I feel like I've learned a lot in the course of being a bride twice and watching other people go through it and just being through so many. Not to mention the drama and the insanity. So here's what a girl with a BA in Psychology thinks one should do to get the most out of the experience, avoid the drama and keep the attention on themselves!
Expenses
Those who contribute to the weddings (parents) naturally feel compelled to give their opinions on well... everything! Why? Umm.. well if you were dropping 10K on anything wouldn't you feel compelled to get in your two cents?????? I sure as hell would! Hell, anything above 1K and my nose is in the situation if it's coming from my bank account. Make an agreement prior to the wedding with you parents. Ask them what means the most to them and allow them to be part of that specific part. Maybe they LURVE cake, let them make a few cake choices. It won't kill you and they are donating to the day long expensive event. If the mom likes the dress portion, let her come shopping but make sure she agrees that if you cry or feel like a million bucks and she doesn't like it, then she should keep it to herself. ( HAHAHAHAHA Train's Marry me just came one the radio! So appropriate!) If you can keep them involved then they will most likely be less pushy. People get pushy when they want something and aren't getting it in life.
If you are paying for it... START SAVING and make friends in high places! That and start cutting your list down to bare minimums! It's one day and if you don't speak with someone on a regular basis, they don't need to be there.
Bridal Party
one's for the girls. Chose your bridesmaids wisely. You don't need 15. That will just be WAY too much drama. Pick no more than 5 girls that you can't live without. People that would take a bullet for you. If you have more than one sister, here's the criteria for picking the best one. Pick the sister who a) knows you the most and will plan it the way you want b) is the most financially capable and c) has the most time. If you do not have sisters, the rule still applies. If you can't find anyone that fits the bill completely, stick with the girl that falls under category A!!! She can tell the financially capable ones what to do. :) LET the girls pick out their dresses. It's a lot to ask people to pay so much money on a dress they will wear once so let them have a choice. They will be very happy and feel good on your big day too. ALWAYS give your bridal party good gifts in their gift bag. Think of things that they might need on the big day and fill their gift bags with them. That way they won't incur additional wedding day expenses and they'll feel very well thought of. NEVER let anyone dictate what YOU want to do for your shower/bachelorette party! Make sure your MO knows that and plans accordingly.
Invitations
Bottom line, they end up in the trash so think about your financial bottom line. Before you even think about a printing company, drive your ass to Target or Party City and buy the cutest ones you can find. One thing to think of, the less shit in the envelope, the less you pay in postage. The only thing guests need is the invite, rsvp card and envelope and a map. Number your invites so you can keep track of who didn't respond and USE theknot.com's database. It'll be your BEST friend. If your friends offer to help you assemble them, then accept the help. Never make anyone feel obligated. But if you do ask, entice with treats or wine! People don't like to think that they're hard work will go unappreciated!
Cake
Don't ever pay a company that normally does wedding cakes, 500 for a stupid cake. It's such a waste of money. SPEND time looking around and talking to people. You can find someone who will do it for under 200. And here's another tip! If you put the cakes in the center of each table you don't need to pay for spendy shit that no one looks at in the center of the table. If your crafty or know crafty people, your center pieces are covered. If you want a small cake, just get a small cake and have the rest be sheet cakes. Guests don't know the difference and you save a lot more.
THE DRESS
Never invite more then 5 people to go wedding dress shopping with you. ONLY invite people who know you. They will KNOW when it's the right dress. You're face will light up and you may even cry. And at that point EVERYONE should be supporting you. If there's someone that you think for a minute would be too jealous or opinionated or would not appreciate the moment, then don't even bother inviting them. That includes family members. People can get really jealous when the spotlight isn't on them so just remember that. Less opinions on dress shopping day equals more satisfaction and if you don't believe me, watch an episode of Say Yes to The Dress on TLC.
Odds and Ends
Never spend a lot of money on flowers unless you can get a massive discount. They die. Always get a second opinion on spending money. Go see places and get your feet dirty. It's good to know where every dollar is going. It's also good to to minimize drama. Many guests, family and friends will think "it's not my day!" but if you have an attitude of gratitude then people will be more likely to help and want to experience it with you!
So maybe I got a little off track at times but hopefully this could be useful for someone, someday!
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