Autism is Autism is Autism

When Evan and I go to the park I generally do not tell other parents that he has autism.  Mostly because he plays well with other kids and I don't feel like I owe anyone an explanation.  Sometimes he has moments with other children where he doesn't respond so I explain to other peoples kids that sometimes he just doesn't respond because he's playing with his Mickey Mouse.  Then I'll tell the parent that he has autism and I almost ALWAYS get the same question......

Does he have Asperger's?

via GIPHY

It's not "technically" called Asperger's anymore.  I assume that those people who ask this question, do not know the entire history of Autism and all those involved in it's changing definition.  I also assume that they don't want to hear the entire history or have time to hear it either.....

Here's what I think people are trying to ask:
How functional is he?
Is he predictable or is he going to do socially strange things at this park?
Does his autism affect him a lot or can he just play like a normal kid?

I have recently decided to move away from calling Evan "high functioning" because he has high and low functioning moments in life similar to everyone else.  Some times they are related to autism and sometimes it's because life can just suck a little.  If you are reading this and thinking to yourself, "I don't have low functioning moments in life."  Well..... I beg to differ.  Read: Sneaky Hate Spiral.  You and I BOTH know you've cursed the wind or just cried in your car because life sucked.  It just isn't possible for even a normal to be high functioning at all times so don't lie to yourself LOL!   I just cursed the rain yesterday.......

Here are GOOD questions to ask random parents you've never met, whose kids have autism:

What does he/she like to do for fun?
Does he/she have a favorite teacher in school?
Does he/she have a favorite book?

You can even ask autism children these rousing questions and you might get some really cool answers or no answer at all!  My child will willingly discuss cars with strangers.  In his mind he owns a Hyundai and a Honda.  He starts my car before we leave for school every day. But just asking either one of us says so much more to us than the first question because all these question say the most important thing: I want to understand you more.

Autism doesn't define a person.  It just summarizes and generalizes some of their struggles.  I have anxiety but no stranger ever asks me "Do you have anxiety?"  "How's your anxiety today?"  Well, I hate bugs and Evan got mauled by gnats so I'm a bit put out (said lightly, I've bug sprayed the yard repeatedly and make him wear deet to play outside) about that but it's not really defining my day or my life.