A Night Alone: Toddler Edition

In case you didn't read A Night Alone, you probably should.  Back in those days, I pictured myself with a child that could sleep 10-12 hours straight like other peoples kids.  I would get 8 hours of sleep and even have a little me time to book end the nights.  I might even be ready to create a new spawn. This is how I'd wake up every day:

FABULOUS!  Obviously.

Evan will be 2.5 years old in a week and I can count on one hand the amount of times he's slept for at least 10 hours without disruption.  I know what you are thinking.... it's all my fault.  I didn't sleep train him, blah blah blah.  Well, you are wrong.  He's sleep trained.  He just choses not to eat enough food during the day.  Well, try offering food to this kid when he's busy and this is the response you'll ALWAYS get:

Andy was out of town last night and this is how it went down. 

8:30 PM - Toddler is placed in bed after eating 1 hotdog, 1 banana and 8 ounces of milk.

1:30 AM - Toddler fusses, he's HUNGRY.  Of course.  Grab toddler from bed and give him milk - 8 ounces.  Put toddler back to bed.  

2:15 AM - MY STOMACH says "Hey, remember me?!  Oh you don't?  Well, now that you are engaging in physical activity (working out). I'm hungry so feed me because you aren't going to sleep until you do!"

2:16 AM - Make a peanut butter sandwich because that's all I'm capable of doing.

2:18 AM - Go back to bed with sandwich and gatorade because I need to wash it down. 

2:25 AM - Finish said meal and lay awake trying to fall back asleep.

5:45 AM - Toddler wakes up again.  Soaked in pee and hungry again.  Go get milk, a diaper and wipes.

5:50 AM - While changing toddlers outfit and refilling his milk tank, the dog jumps off the bed and stares at me. But I'm tired so this is what it looks like to me:

6:00 AM - Toddler reluctantly goes back to bed.  He's had a long night and I want to take him to the zoo without bad attitude.  He fell back asleep.

6:05 AM - Dog NEEDS TO GO POTTY AND EAT!  Take care of it other wise she'll lay on my face.

7:30 AM - My body finally says "enough, wake up and stop being lazy."  This is what I'm doing in bed, however I look much less fabulous.

 

I know I only have one child and one dog but I'm unwilling to pencil in another living thing into this nighttime parade of needs.  Besides, I'm too busy getting myself ready in 10 minutes and trying not to blow something up before Evan wakes up.....